I haven't been big into the series and lives of John and Kate Plus Eight, but I've heard about them off an on and saw Kate on the 700 Club not long ago. However, recently, I have heard about their upcoming divorce, and it grieves me. Not for John and Kate, but for their eight.
I'm the child of divorced parents. One of three in fact. At first glance, you might think "well hey, she hasn't turned out too bad." Yes, perhaps. But that's been because of the unconditional love of Jesus Christ. If you knew my heart, mind, and life -everything not visible to the naked eye- you would know that I've been through things that I wish I never had been. Things I'm ashamed to speak of or even remember. Things that have served to only tear me into smaller pieces.
And it all started with a divorce. One simple little decision that I had no control over (free will, you know?). Honestly, I can say it all stemmed from that very occurrence.
But, I'm getting too far ahead of myself. I feel I should explain... From one kid who's been there and done that to you parents out there considering carrying through on this thing called divorce.
What exactly happens when two parents split? Most people think that their actions are their own and they don't effect anyone else but themselves. But this isn't true, especially when it comes to something as serious as divorce.
Take it from me. In the mind of a growing child, it's more like they are losing half of themselves. Suddenly they are being pulled two different directions to choose one of two sides (mom's or dad's). The stress of that alone is destructive.
Sure, it's not like you're leaving the country, never to see or speak to them again for the rest of their lives. And there are weekends and every other Wednesday nights to spend quality time with them. Certainly that must give you some props?
Not hardly. You're still gone. You're not there when they really need you most. They don't have you to stop them from doing something stupid because, after all, who can they trust if their own parents can't even trust each other enough to preserve their marriage?
The example you are setting for them comes into play next... Divorce is okay! You can't get along with each other? Don't even worry about trying! Get a divorce. It's the fast, easy way to serve the one and only YOU.
But that's not the only thing they will learn! How about talking things through? Working out problems and differences? If you can give up so easily on something like the life-long commitment of marriage, why shouldn't they? Heck, why should they even discuss things with their parents? After all, neither of them did a very good job at that. And their adults.
Where will that get them in life? Unhappy and selfish, just like you. If you're lucky, which you no doubt will be, your kids will give up on even their hopes and dreams for the future. Their self image will wear thin until breaking point. They'll look to find themselves in their friends and members of the opposite gender and who knows what else when, all along, you could have saved them all the heartache and disappointment and not to mention wasted time.
STOP! Before you sign that paper, think about it from a different perspective. Your kids. Will this benefit them at all? Will it harm them at all?
If all you can think about with divorce on the table is yourself, perhaps it would do you good to think of the others involved.
John and Kate, I don't expect you will ever read this but if by God's Grace you do, please please PLEASE rethink this. I have a perfect reason for you not to... Eight in fact!
For those eight precious little ones that love you and call you Mom and Dad. Who look up to you even when they are smarting off to you. Who melt into you for hugs and light with pride and determination when you make note of them and tell them they've done a fantastic job. For your girls, who will need their father more than ever when they are grown, and for your boys, who will rely on their mother in due course -to show them what to look for in a spouse and how a happy home is run where BOTH parents are working together.
Gosselins, you are in my prayers. God protect the next generation you were blessed with to mold and shape into great men and women.